Nevermind the black!

Okay Steph, the porn site comment did it! Just kidding, but you're right, the black was too much. I know it's only been a day, but once I looked at it for a while, the white text on black did make my eyes hurt. I still wish I could put just the pictures on black, but I don't think I can. Oh, well. This one is still my favorite of all their options. Maybe I'll get good one day and make my own. Thanks for your opinions guys.
PS Julia is three months old today! Yay Baby Girl!

New Look

Well, I'm trying something different. I can't decide if I like it though. My thought is that the black really makes the pictures pop, and usually my posts are mostly pictures. But is it too dark? I put a poll to right, so please vote. And you can leave a comment if you like. Thanks!

Also... For anyone who may be new to the site, you can see old posts by going through the archive. The main page only holds the newest seven, but the archive keeps them all from the beginning, right before Jules was born.

Bath Time!

Well, I've developed quite a system for bathing now. There are things you learn as you go. For instance, I bring a little space heater in the bathroom to make it super warm. I also bring her pad from her changing table to lay her on when she's done and put her diaper on and get her dressed. This time when I laid her there in her towel, she looked so happy and cute that I had to get the camera. This is her karate kid pose!

On a not so funny note, while I was taking these pictures, she was still naked and she peed without a diaper on. (My mistake, I know!) Can you explain to me how that's possible? She just finished a warm bath. If she had any pee in her, you'd think she would have gone when she hit the warm water. I don't get it. :)

Favorite Toy

This is Julia's favorite toy right now. She especially likes it now that I put it right next to the Christmas tree so she can see all the pretty lights! It's a jungle mat she can lay on and play with the toys that hang from the bar above her. The butterflies are light and easy for her to hit. In this first picture she is "talking" to the toys.

This is what I love. She's to the point now where she knows what she needs to do. At first she would just swing her arms and hit the toys accidentally. Now she's learned that when the ball on the zebra rolls, it plays music. Look at the concentration on her face. She is staring at her hand and moving it slowly, trying to make it touch the toy. My baby is so smart!

Some awesome pictures...

These were taken at my Grandma and Grandpa Gulley's on Christmas Eve. I had Jules laying in my lap looking up at me talking to her. I decided I'd play with the macrofocus on my camera and try to get a closeup of her gorgeous eyelashes, which I prayed she'd get from her Daddy. (Little did I know she'd end up getting everything from her Daddy!)

So I was focused clearly on her face and talking to her to get her to smile when my Grandma came up behind her and started touching her face.

At first it tickled a little...

Then she smiled...

And for the grand finale... A BELLY LAUGH!

I couldn't believe it! It was only the second belly laugh I've ever seen and I caught it with the camera! How awesome is that?! I apologize to all other mothers out there, but I have the most beautiful baby God ever created. I dare you to tell me I'm wrong!

Five days of Christmas: Day Five

Yay, Santa came! He didn't bring a lot this year, but I'm sure he knew how much she already has and how much she would get this year. The black sleeper says "Itty Bitty Boilermaker". From Mommy, she got the first book for her Christmas book collection, The Night Before Christmas. That's something my Mom did with me, and I'm keeping the tradition with her. Her favorite so far has been the Glo Worm. She stares at the face in awe. It plays lullabies, too, and she loves music. She fell asleep last night in her bed staring at it.

After we quickly showed her the Santa gifts, we rushed off to my parents house for our traditional Christmas breakfast. This year we ate first and then let John open his gifts because he had to get off to work. He works 12 hour shifts normally, but he worked 16 on Christmas Eve so the guy relieving him didn't have to come in until 10 and then he worked until 10 Christmas morning so John could have some time with us before going in. I'm glad his buddy agreed to do that for him. Here's John sniffing his present to guess what it is. He's the best guesser I've ever seen. He can't touch his presents until he's ready to open them because he'll guess right every time. This one was a candle and he got the scent exactly right.

Even though John didn't get me my "Red Rider" this year (that's the gift you want most of all), I can't complain because I got the best gift ever, my baby girl.

After John left for work, we finished opening all the gifts and then I got everything all packed up. Jules and I headed over John's Aunt Lurlene's house to be with his extended family. One of John's cousins had a baby less than a month after I had Julia, so it was fun to see them together. We visited for a few hours and then went home to see Daddy when he got off.

Whew! We made it to and through Christmas Day! John caught bits and pieces of some of it, but I did most of the running on my own the last five days. It's especially hard because I have to keep myself from complaining because I know he would rather be with us, too. Working Christmas is not something he does by choice. I guess that's why it makes me crazy when people say, "Oh, John couldn't be here, that's too bad. The money must be nice though." Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for his job and the money, but that's not why he misses Christmas. If it were up to him, he'd be with us. At least this year she is too young to notice. When she's older, it will be hard to explain why Daddy isn't there. Kids don't understand that. But by then I will have prayed that much longer for his job schedule to change. No worries. This Christmas, however, I pulled my hair out. (At least I would have if it wasn't already falling out, but that's another topic altogether. The things they don't tell you about having a baby!) I will admit that I nearly lost my mind. We visited five different houses and tons of people, all of which would have been heartbroken if we hadn't made it to theirs. And it's not that I don't love everyone, too, but somethins gotta give. I could even tell that it was affecting Jules. Way too much fussing over her by day five. Poor thing. She's the kind of baby that likes to just lay on the floor and play, or sit in her swing. She got fed up with being passed around and having her picture taken. (I'm at fault there, too.) We're both glad to be in our home sweet home. Not to be rude to all our hosts and hostesses out there, but there's no place like home. You understand.

Five Days of Christmas: Day Four

It's Christmas Eve! We spent the afternoon at my Grandma and Grandpa Gulley's house. It was good to see my cousin Rachel home again after spending a semester studying abroad in Germany. The last time she saw me I was pregnant, so she got to meet Julia. My Grandpa bought all the gifts for our exchange this year and there was everything from cookies and a light up globe, to a shower radio and a talking fly swatter. We had fun playing the game while everyone made sure to "watch the baby" laying in the middle of the floor. (You had to be there to appreciate that one!) Later on my Aunt Kathy went home and brought her dog Willie over to play. Someone anonymously sent her a Christmas card from Willie that she's trying hard to get to the bottom of. Anyone out there know who it might have been?

Mary, Mike Jessica, & Julia

We finally remembered to take a picture of four generations when we were all together. Aww...

Here's my Aunt Kathy with a fussy Julia who only wants to be bounced. She wouldn't exactly smile, but we were lucky to get her looking content. She likes to be held up!

And of course, she came home with more loot. The giraffe outfit has feet that look like giraffe heads and the other one says, "Love to shop!" The moose zips up into the snowball, it's cute!

Five Days of Christmas: Day Three

Yay for Sunday! It was nice to spend today away from the hubub of presents and celebrate Jesus's birthday by worshipping Him. Sundays are hectic in their own way, with everyone wanting to see the baby. Generally I get chased down the hallways and cornered a lot! But I can't blame them, she's so stinkin' adorable, especially in her Christmas get-up! This evening was our candlelight service. I sing in the Worship Team, and we sang a couple songs in the beginning, then turned it over to the choir to lead some carols. The lighting of the candles was at the end and Rich (our music minister), being full of surprises as he is, asked us to come up again. At first I was bummed because I was looking forward to holding a candle, but leave it to God to show me something better. I got to stand on stage and watch while the whole congregation passed the flame around and then stood to sing with their faces flickering in the light. It was absolutely beautiful from that perspective. It was the perfect end to the Lord's Day marking the middle of our five days of Christmas.

Five Days of Christmas: Day Two

On Saturday we had Christmas at the Hankla house with that extended family. There were 11 adults and 19 "kids". I say "kids" because a handful of us are really adults now, but you get the idea. I'm the oldest grandchild at 23, and the youngest grandchild is 3. Then Julia is the first of the newest generation at nearly 3 months old. At any rate, it was a full house! Jules had her fair share of attention, probably too much, if anything. She was a bit crabby because she needed to poop, so that was hard because everyone wanted to hold her. By the end of the evening she finally let it loose and smiled up a storm. I even heard a true belly laugh for the first time when I retreated to an empty bedroom to feed her. She was so happy in the quiet in there that I stayed for a while, talking and playing with her. I couldn't believe that laugh, though. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.


Julia slept for a while on the couch. Tiffany came to grab me and tell me to come see how cute Brian was. Awww... she loves her Uncle Brian!


My sister Kristen and cousins Hannah and Amber were talking to Julia on the couch when my Mom said they looked a mobile - three heads leaning in above her. So I held the camera as high as could and got the overhead shot. Cute!



And of course I had to take another one of these. This girl has already gotten enough gifts for five Christmases! We draw names because there are so many of us, but she was spoiled by more than just the one that drew her! It is fun though. The baby shower was mostly clothes and necessities. Now she's just about old enough to start getting into toys. Suddenly, it's a whole new world!

Five Days of Christmas: Day One

Well, our Christmas marathon has begun. We celebrated at the Mehok's on Friday so John could make it. (He'll be working the next 6 days now, and miss most of the rest.) We had a lot of fun and Julia behaved pretty well. She was fussy off and on, but she cooperated during present opening time and sat in my lap to watch the excitement. Afterward I had the bright idea to pose her with her gifts. Not spoiled much, is she? (And I even found a few that I missed when we cleaned up!) Thank you so much to Nana, Poppy, Grandpa Tony, Grandma Marlene, Uncle Tony, and Aunt Reyna!

Random Thought

Something occurred to me today. I realized that somewhere in the back of my mind, I've been subconsciously waiting for things to settle down and get back to normal. This is not a logical thought process I've reasoned through, but something I've been feeling deep down that I just haven't identified until now. I keep thinking that my old comfort level is just around the corner, over the horizon, if I can only make it there. At first I thought I'd feel "right" again after we brought the baby home, or maybe once she's nursing perfectly, or when she can sleep through the night. Maybe I'll feel like myself when I go back to work, and Jules and I get into a routine. Maybe it won't be so hard if she'll take a bottle without throwing a fit. Perhaps it'll be easier when she only has to have her medicine twice a day instead of four times. And the list goes on... I just caught myself doing this today. Once again I was (sadly) wishing Christmas would come faster so I can get back to "normal". That's when it hit me. Normal is not coming back. Life is not going to settle down after Christmas, or after any of Julia's milestones, or... EVER. The changes are going to keep coming at warp speed until I die, of this I'm certain. My old comfort zone is forever gone because I am forever changed. I'm a mother now, and every day I learn in a new way what a monumental thing that is. I guess it's time to redefine normal.

Flashback

2 days old

2 1/2 months old

This makes me cry. Look how much she has changed already. What happened to my newborn? How will I ever be able to handle all the changes that are in store for her for the rest of her life? Yes, I love this new person she's becoming, but the sense of loss for what has passed so fast is undeniable. It's like I miss her even though she's still here. Such unexpected emotion involved with being a mother. I know without a doubt that this will be the hardest, most wonderful thing I ever do. In truth, it already is.

Aunt Kristen

Aunt Kristen came over to hang out and she actually took these pictures herself. The screen on my camera flips around, and she takes cute pictures that way. I don't know if your computer does them any justice, but their eyes look beautiful.

Santa!

There was a free Santa at the new Cabela's, so we took Julia up there to meet him. The first time I handed her to him, she cried, although I think it was mostly because I put a hat on her head and she hates that. So I took her back and we walked around a bit, I fed her, made sure she was happy, and then we tried again. She wouldn't exactly smile, but as least she wasn't crying. She made her 'O' face, and she was staring off to the side. Maybe there were reindeer over there and I just didn't notice!

Update

Long time, no blog, I know! It's that time of year, though. And of course everything is a little crazier with a baby thrown into the mix. But we have gotten into a bit of a routine lately. For the last week or so Jules has gone to sleep at about 11:30, give or take half an hour. She's always been able to sleep for long stretches of time, but she used to stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning. I've been back to work for two weeks now, so I'm sure that's helped her. I'm working 12 hours a week at Omni in the Playroom - four hours, Monday, Wednesday & Friday mornings. It's not bad at all, really. It feels good to get out, and I'll have some pocket money again. Babies are not cheap either. (We've decided that with the next child we're going to keep track of how many diapers they go through. I think we're probably past 500, and I figured once that they're roughly $0.25 each. Wow!) I know it's good for her to have time away from me, too. I have had to be that person that watches a 2 year old that's practically never been away from Mom before, and it's rough. I'm trying hard not to create a monster, but there is only so much within my control. For example, she always took a bottle fine for the first several weeks of her life. Then, one day, she simply decided she was old enough to have an opinion, and she likes her yummy Mommy better. I feel so bad, but she pitches a fit for anyone that has the pleasure of watching her when she gets hungry. She cries and screams to make her preference known before she'll eventually give in. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. And while I've spent a fair amount of time blaming myself, I've come to the conclusion that it's just the personality she was born with. She will learn, I'm confident. I does worry me a little about how long into childhood this stubbornness will last. Forever, no doubt, and it will only make life more difficult for her. (And me!) But at least I know she'll be able to take care of herself. She's a strong one, God bless her! Well, thanks for "listening". I'll post some pictures for ya. I know you prefer those over my ramblings. :)