Lessons Learned

10 Lessons I've Learned as a Mother...
#10 Baby only spits up when Mommy doesn't have a burp cloth handy.
#9 Warm bath water makes Baby pee.
#8 Baby will smile (adorably) in her sleep all the time... unless Mommy has the camera, then she won't.
#7 Baby knows when she's strapped in her car seat and Mommy is ready to leave and she will poop to gain freedom from the seat.
#6 Baby can sleep for hours straight, unless of course Mommy has just gotten into the shower. Then she may find it necessary to cry even though she has a full belly and a clean diaper.
#5 Baby sleeps longer in bed with Mommy than in her own bassinet. (Really, it's true, although it may also be Mommy's excuse to cuddle with baby a few hours each night.)
#4 If Mommy gives Baby a bath and puts a clean, cute outfit on her, Baby will spit up more than you'd think her tummy could hold and make Mommy start over.
#3 Baby suddenly gets hungry whenever she senses Mommy has warmed herself a plate of food or just poured milk on her cereal. (Mommy hasn't had a hot meal in nearly 2 weeks.)
#2 Baby will wait until she is in a brand new, clean, fresh diaper to fill it with poop... every time!

And the #1 lesson I've learned as a mother...
Daddy is useless when Mommy needs him, and probably more helpless than Baby. His favorite phrases are, "Mommy, I think she's hungry," and "Mommy, I think she needs her diaper changed." (If Mommy truly needs help, she should call her own Mommy!)

And the lesson I've learned just now, while typing this, is that Baby will not stop crying just because Mommy ignores her. She will get louder and madder and kick harder until she gets her way.