Five Days of Christmas: Day Two

On Saturday we had Christmas at the Hankla house with that extended family. There were 11 adults and 19 "kids". I say "kids" because a handful of us are really adults now, but you get the idea. I'm the oldest grandchild at 23, and the youngest grandchild is 3. Then Julia is the first of the newest generation at nearly 3 months old. At any rate, it was a full house! Jules had her fair share of attention, probably too much, if anything. She was a bit crabby because she needed to poop, so that was hard because everyone wanted to hold her. By the end of the evening she finally let it loose and smiled up a storm. I even heard a true belly laugh for the first time when I retreated to an empty bedroom to feed her. She was so happy in the quiet in there that I stayed for a while, talking and playing with her. I couldn't believe that laugh, though. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen.


Julia slept for a while on the couch. Tiffany came to grab me and tell me to come see how cute Brian was. Awww... she loves her Uncle Brian!


My sister Kristen and cousins Hannah and Amber were talking to Julia on the couch when my Mom said they looked a mobile - three heads leaning in above her. So I held the camera as high as could and got the overhead shot. Cute!



And of course I had to take another one of these. This girl has already gotten enough gifts for five Christmases! We draw names because there are so many of us, but she was spoiled by more than just the one that drew her! It is fun though. The baby shower was mostly clothes and necessities. Now she's just about old enough to start getting into toys. Suddenly, it's a whole new world!

Five Days of Christmas: Day One

Well, our Christmas marathon has begun. We celebrated at the Mehok's on Friday so John could make it. (He'll be working the next 6 days now, and miss most of the rest.) We had a lot of fun and Julia behaved pretty well. She was fussy off and on, but she cooperated during present opening time and sat in my lap to watch the excitement. Afterward I had the bright idea to pose her with her gifts. Not spoiled much, is she? (And I even found a few that I missed when we cleaned up!) Thank you so much to Nana, Poppy, Grandpa Tony, Grandma Marlene, Uncle Tony, and Aunt Reyna!

Random Thought

Something occurred to me today. I realized that somewhere in the back of my mind, I've been subconsciously waiting for things to settle down and get back to normal. This is not a logical thought process I've reasoned through, but something I've been feeling deep down that I just haven't identified until now. I keep thinking that my old comfort level is just around the corner, over the horizon, if I can only make it there. At first I thought I'd feel "right" again after we brought the baby home, or maybe once she's nursing perfectly, or when she can sleep through the night. Maybe I'll feel like myself when I go back to work, and Jules and I get into a routine. Maybe it won't be so hard if she'll take a bottle without throwing a fit. Perhaps it'll be easier when she only has to have her medicine twice a day instead of four times. And the list goes on... I just caught myself doing this today. Once again I was (sadly) wishing Christmas would come faster so I can get back to "normal". That's when it hit me. Normal is not coming back. Life is not going to settle down after Christmas, or after any of Julia's milestones, or... EVER. The changes are going to keep coming at warp speed until I die, of this I'm certain. My old comfort zone is forever gone because I am forever changed. I'm a mother now, and every day I learn in a new way what a monumental thing that is. I guess it's time to redefine normal.

Flashback

2 days old

2 1/2 months old

This makes me cry. Look how much she has changed already. What happened to my newborn? How will I ever be able to handle all the changes that are in store for her for the rest of her life? Yes, I love this new person she's becoming, but the sense of loss for what has passed so fast is undeniable. It's like I miss her even though she's still here. Such unexpected emotion involved with being a mother. I know without a doubt that this will be the hardest, most wonderful thing I ever do. In truth, it already is.

Aunt Kristen

Aunt Kristen came over to hang out and she actually took these pictures herself. The screen on my camera flips around, and she takes cute pictures that way. I don't know if your computer does them any justice, but their eyes look beautiful.

Santa!

There was a free Santa at the new Cabela's, so we took Julia up there to meet him. The first time I handed her to him, she cried, although I think it was mostly because I put a hat on her head and she hates that. So I took her back and we walked around a bit, I fed her, made sure she was happy, and then we tried again. She wouldn't exactly smile, but as least she wasn't crying. She made her 'O' face, and she was staring off to the side. Maybe there were reindeer over there and I just didn't notice!

Update

Long time, no blog, I know! It's that time of year, though. And of course everything is a little crazier with a baby thrown into the mix. But we have gotten into a bit of a routine lately. For the last week or so Jules has gone to sleep at about 11:30, give or take half an hour. She's always been able to sleep for long stretches of time, but she used to stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning. I've been back to work for two weeks now, so I'm sure that's helped her. I'm working 12 hours a week at Omni in the Playroom - four hours, Monday, Wednesday & Friday mornings. It's not bad at all, really. It feels good to get out, and I'll have some pocket money again. Babies are not cheap either. (We've decided that with the next child we're going to keep track of how many diapers they go through. I think we're probably past 500, and I figured once that they're roughly $0.25 each. Wow!) I know it's good for her to have time away from me, too. I have had to be that person that watches a 2 year old that's practically never been away from Mom before, and it's rough. I'm trying hard not to create a monster, but there is only so much within my control. For example, she always took a bottle fine for the first several weeks of her life. Then, one day, she simply decided she was old enough to have an opinion, and she likes her yummy Mommy better. I feel so bad, but she pitches a fit for anyone that has the pleasure of watching her when she gets hungry. She cries and screams to make her preference known before she'll eventually give in. Stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. And while I've spent a fair amount of time blaming myself, I've come to the conclusion that it's just the personality she was born with. She will learn, I'm confident. I does worry me a little about how long into childhood this stubbornness will last. Forever, no doubt, and it will only make life more difficult for her. (And me!) But at least I know she'll be able to take care of herself. She's a strong one, God bless her! Well, thanks for "listening". I'll post some pictures for ya. I know you prefer those over my ramblings. :)